[0.0s] How do we do this?
[10.2s] I don't know, but I'm trying to remember Sully's voice.
[12.9s] You need to do, like, a witch voice, or, like, a ghosty voice.
[18.3s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[23.7s] Spooky.
[27.0s] I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More, he, him.
[29.4s] Also with me today is Carla Maxted.
[32.8s] She, her, that's me playing Glim,
[35.9s] a dragonborn pAlydin, just a little baby one.
[38.7s] Also she, her.
[40.1s] And Amy More.
[41.5s] Yep, that's me, she, her.
[43.4s] And I will be playing Sullivan Sleight,
[45.6s] a lightfoot halfling rogue,
[47.7s] also just a little baby, he, him.
[50.3s] And Kyle Classic.
[52.0s] Hey, hey, he, him.
[53.4s] Gonna be playing Vorunax, also he, him.
[56.6s] Picking right up where we left off.
[58.0s] No, we're not doing that.
[59.0s] This is a non-canonical, canonical-ish adventure
[63.5s] for Halloween Spooky Fun Times,
[65.4s] because it's the spooky season.
[67.1s] So thank you for being here with us.
[67.9s] One of my favorite seasons.
[69.0s] I love these. That's right.
[69.9s] You're catching us in the middle of the between seasons,
[73.4s] the in-betweeny weenies,
[75.1s] where we haven't yet started releasing anything
[78.9s] from season three, maybe,
[80.3s] but we're just having lots of fun
[82.6s] while we play games,
[84.3s] trying to remember how to play a game.
[87.0s] After the season finale.
[89.2s] Where we have all the things going on
[90.8s] that remain constant and normal is over on Patreon,
[94.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast,
[96.5s] where we have a continuous show
[98.8s] that's going on over there that we haven't stopped.
[101.7s] And we have lots of other things,
[104.6s] like episode dedications,
[107.5s] which you're gonna hear right now
[109.2s] from the patron who gets their episode dedicated to them,
[112.6s] Lord Arachne.
[115.0s] Lord Arachne.
[116.2s] Lord Arachne.
[117.6s] I know that person.
[118.9s] We know that person.
[119.7s] You know, just from like Discord
[121.3s] and good things and stuff.
[122.8s] Of Discord fame.
[124.4s] Yeah.
[125.2s] You can join us at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[128.3s] And then you'll just come on over to the Discord too
[131.1s] and Lord Arachne's there,
[132.6s] which what more do you need?
[135.1s] Little insider tip.
[136.1s] You can come to the Discord
[137.5s] even if you're not on Patreon,
[138.7s] cause we love you still.
[139.9s] For free. True.
[141.1s] That's right.
[142.0s] Come join us. It's really fun.
[143.6s] Join us.
[144.5s] One of us. One of us.
[146.5s] Goobble gobble. One of us.
[147.9s] Goobble gobble.
[149.2s] One of us.
[151.1s] And now fuck it, let's play.
[158.3s] There's the creaking sound of a carriage.
[160.3s] Eee eee eee eee.
[161.7s] Cuckoo coo coo.
[162.6s] Eee eee eee.
[164.4s] Winding down this long pathway
[167.7s] as this single horse pulls you along your inside.
[172.9s] The four of you, Glim, Sully, Vorunax, and Hillop.
[181.4s] What?
[182.2s] The very pregnant pause.
[183.0s] Well, Amy started busting a gun.
[184.6s] I was like, I haven't said anything funny yet.
[186.0s] No, but if you wasn't back
[188.2s] to that string sentence that you did,
[191.6s] it was nonsensical.
[193.7s] Yeah, but I move it around so that it makes sense.
[197.0s] I followed it entirely,
[198.6s] so I don't know what that says.
[199.4s] I knew what he was saying.
[200.7s] Yeah.
[201.6s] We're married.
[203.2s] Oh, that's perfect.
[204.1s] But I was imagining it written down going.
[206.1s] No, who writes things down?
[210.0s] I'm sorry.
[210.9s] You didn't have to, my laughter was silent.
[213.6s] I would just like that to be on the record.
[214.9s] It was, I didn't even know you were laughing.
[216.6s] That my laughter was silent.
[217.5s] I've cut back in a real laugh
[219.2s] so that it makes it make more sense
[221.4s] when I source someone from an episode.
[222.2s] Now you sound like you're losing your mind.
[223.9s] Yeah, one day you'll just come in
[226.3s] and I will just say, just drop, give me a laugh.
[229.0s] I need it.
[229.9s] And you'll laugh and it won't make any sense.
[232.3s] No, cause you said, give me a laugh.
[233.6s] I need it.
[234.5s] And I would do something hilarious
[235.8s] to try to make you laugh thinking
[237.0s] you were having a bad day.
[238.2s] Yes, that would make more sense.
[240.6s] So moving down the path.
[241.4s] And if someone said, I need a laugh
[243.2s] and you just started laughing,
[245.3s] that would be a crazy thing to do.
[247.8s] Yeah, that is the real nightmare
[251.0s] of this Halloween thing that we're gonna be doing here.
[253.9s] So you're in a carriage,
[255.3s] I think is where we got to the four of you.
[258.3s] Glim, Sully, Hillop and Vorunax.
[261.5s] And you have been spending some time in this carriage
[266.0s] on the way to Kroorn Manor.
[271.4s] Of course,
[274.8s] Count Eunice A. Kroorn has invited you
[279.1s] to his annual Grand Hallows Eve Gala.
[284.8s] One of the most sought after invitations in the entire realm.
[290.4s] And the four of you find yourselves
[294.0s] in each other's company, waiting to arrive.
[300.1s] It's so very nice that you've invited me along.
[302.8s] I know Hillop, he had that big emergency
[305.0s] of the sudden outbreak of mashed potato avAlydinche
[308.6s] as a nearby all you can eat buffet,
[311.1s] which created that big potato mountain emergency.
[314.2s] And he was the only buffet reviewer who could stop it.
[317.4s] Right, so did you misspeak and you meant moot
[320.3s] or are you now speaking in the third person
[322.5s] because you thought your sort of
[324.8s] just general personality wasn't quite enough?
[329.0s] So you thought you'd add in a fun thing where you-
[331.7s] It is enough though.
[332.9s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[333.7s] Let's not encourage.
[334.6s] It's enough, it's enough.
[335.4s] I can't exactly remember what I said,
[337.0s] but I'm pretty sure- Oh, but moot avAlydinche.
[338.8s] Yeah, it meant thank you inviting me, Hillop,
[342.6s] in place of moot, who was called away
[346.2s] to his potato emergency.
[348.6s] And Hal.
[349.4s] He was so excited.
[350.2s] I don't know if I've ever seen him smile so much.
[352.6s] Mr. Vorunax, have you ever experienced
[354.8s] such a potato emergency?
[356.6s] I have not, but there was one time
[359.8s] we experienced a shortage of supplies at work
[364.7s] and well, it caused quite a backup in the system
[369.2s] and processing is a messy business where I come from.
[373.1s] Oh, and what is it you're in the business of?
[376.0s] Well, you know, let's see.
[379.8s] I don't know, that's why I asked.
[383.2s] Well, I'm in the business of moving people
[387.7s] from point A to point B, logistics in a way
[391.0s] and making sure that-
[391.8s] Oh, transportation.
[392.8s] Yeah, sure.
[393.7s] Yeah, but it's really difficult
[396.1s] when somebody needs to be transported
[398.1s] in different parcels.
[403.6s] That is intriguing.
[405.2s] That sounds ominous.
[407.0s] Well, you know, I don't like to talk about work
[410.2s] at fun events, but you know, if you're gonna ask,
[414.5s] then I'll go into the dirty details
[418.0s] if you really wanna know,
[418.8s] especially on a night like tonight.
[421.2s] Oh, it is a very spooky night, isn't it?
[423.5s] Very spooky.
[425.1s] It's very spooky and I have to say
[427.2s] quite an inspired decision to hold
[430.2s] the Grand Hallows Eve Gala in the haunted forest.
[434.3s] I mean, it's perfect.
[436.9s] It's the perfect location.
[439.2s] It's like they've done it one or two times before.
[442.2s] Perhaps they held it at the local play place
[445.9s] and that was not spooky enough.
[447.8s] Not quite spooky enough,
[449.2s] especially if there's some things
[450.3s] I'm particularly looking forward to.
[452.7s] I don't know about you all,
[453.9s] but costume contest, obviously.
[457.4s] Well, yeah, what are you wearing right now?
[459.0s] I'm obviously, really?
[461.4s] You can't, I'm beefy stew.
[464.4s] Oh my gosh, I was like, you're so familiar.
[468.8s] Beefy stew.
[469.6s] Okay, sorry.
[470.4s] And, and, and, Hilape, what are you?
[472.8s] I'm Glim.
[475.0s] Oh, oh, I see what the-
[475.8s] Yeah, see, I have, I painted myself
[477.9s] in sparkles from head to toe.
[480.0s] And I'm wearing just-
[480.8s] Yeah, I mean, that's sort of-
[481.8s] Yeah, well, it's just a-
[483.3s] Dragonborn face, which I'm not entirely comfortable with.
[487.3s] I am wearing the toga too, that you often wear.
[491.4s] Of course, Glim, well known for togas.
[494.6s] And these Cupid wings.
[498.9s] They didn't have a tail,
[500.3s] so I went with the wings of a dragon
[502.0s] instead of the tail of a dragon.
[504.2s] I thought that was close.
[505.6s] Sorry, sorry.
[507.6s] No, I mean, imitation, sincerest form of flattery.
[510.6s] It's, it's really, nice, Sully, what are your-
[516.2s] Oh, well, well, remember a while ago
[520.2s] when I was like really into those mushrooms?
[523.3s] And then I had like that evil twin thing
[525.3s] that just kind of popped out of my body?
[527.3s] I'll never forget.
[528.3s] Okay, well, that's why I just like
[530.5s] pinned a bunch of mushrooms on myself
[532.0s] and now I am my twin.
[534.0s] Oh, that's very good.
[535.9s] It's like, it's, you know,
[537.6s] it's a concept costume.
[538.9s] If you know, you know.
[540.3s] That's what they mean when they say that.
[542.0s] It's the inside baseball.
[542.8s] If you know, you know, and it is, it's very good.
[546.1s] And Mr. Vorunax, what, explain,
[551.1s] you look fantastic.
[552.7s] Thank you very much.
[554.1s] It is my take on Loth, the drow goddess.
[559.2s] If it was more of a dragon drow instead of the spider,
[563.6s] but still with all the legs.
[566.0s] So I guess dracana, dracarachnid
[570.1s] is what I would coin it as.
[571.9s] Oh, oh, I like that.
[574.6s] That's very good.
[576.3s] If there is a section of the costume contest
[578.9s] for best name of costume,
[582.5s] that would probably win.
[584.2s] I'll have to-
[585.0s] Drachnid, it's great.
[586.8s] Thank you, thank you.
[587.9s] Yeah, it kind of just, it kind of just came to me,
[590.1s] but I have a feeling all of these extra arms
[592.7s] are going to be sorry about cramping the space
[595.4s] with these things.
[596.3s] No, it's fine.
[597.3s] Yeah.
[598.2s] It's okay.
[599.0s] It's a spooky cold night.
[599.9s] So honestly, I was sort of just draping one
[602.4s] as like they're cozy.
[604.1s] Oh, good.
[604.9s] I did have most of it actually made from silk
[609.0s] from the spiders of the underworld and whatnot.
[612.2s] But yes, it should be very comfortable.
[614.9s] Keep you warm if you need it.
[616.8s] Hopefully I can make it through the night
[618.2s] without sweating my scales off.
[620.7s] Oh, maybe they have cool drinks
[623.2s] as part of the gourmet feast of ghoulish delicacies.
[626.6s] Oh, yeah.
[628.4s] Moot would not stop talking about missing
[630.2s] that gourmet feast.
[631.1s] Like he knows he's in a pile of potatoes right now,
[633.4s] but I mean-
[634.2s] He's living the dream.
[635.6s] And I open my,
[637.1s] I open my trench coat.
[640.4s] I don't know.
[642.2s] And I just have like Tupperware
[645.9s] lining the inside.
[647.4s] I'm gonna do him a favor.
[648.6s] He doesn't know.
[649.8s] And don't tell him it was me
[651.1s] because he's gonna assume it was you.
[652.6s] That's so thoughtful.
[653.9s] I was just going to ask,
[655.2s] do we tell him it's terrible,
[656.6s] even if it's great?
[657.8s] Like what's our strategy?
[659.3s] But you, that's the best strategy.
[661.6s] Well, let him decide.
[663.0s] He's gonna love that.
[663.9s] He gets the mashed potato mountain
[665.6s] and the leftovers.
[667.8s] You're a really good friend.
[668.6s] Lucky.
[669.5s] Don't tell anybody.
[671.1s] Lucky.
[672.5s] I will say like,
[673.5s] as much as I like fireworks,
[675.1s] I'm afraid to go around them
[676.5s] because again, silk, very flammable.
[679.3s] Oh, yes.
[681.3s] So I'll need to be careful there.
[683.3s] Just don't punch a donkey in.
[685.6s] Glam will be fine.
[686.5s] She won't light you up like a candle.
[689.1s] Don't listen to him.
[689.9s] He's just-
[690.8s] I'll tell you what.
[692.4s] I'll take your word for it.
[693.7s] That sounded like there was a story behind it.
[696.4s] And-
[697.2s] It was a bit of a story.
[698.2s] Yeah.
[699.3s] Fair enough.
[700.1s] Maybe on the way home later,
[701.4s] I'll tell you about it.
[703.4s] Hopefully I'll be in a state
[704.4s] to remember it once I wake up tomorrow.
[707.4s] Yes.
[715.9s] As you approach Krohn Manor,
[718.3s] you can't help but notice its eerie charm.
[721.8s] The mansion stands tall and imposing
[725.1s] as you look at it in the silhouette
[727.6s] of the large moon in front of you,
[730.7s] like a vampire trying to impress its guests
[733.2s] with its dark charisma.
[735.1s] Its gothic architecture,
[736.8s] complete with looming spires
[738.6s] that seem to defy gravity,
[740.3s] gives it this unmistakable aura
[742.7s] of spooktacular grandeur.
[746.8s] The front gates begin to swing open,
[749.8s] adorned with wrought iron bats
[751.9s] instead of traditional spikes.
[754.0s] They creak with an exaggerated groan,
[757.5s] and the pathway leading up to the entrance
[759.9s] is lined with comically oversized jack-o-lanterns,
[764.6s] their grinning faces illuminating the way
[767.1s] with a mischievous wink.
[769.9s] When I used to be a gay-tist,
[774.3s] I'd just inside scoop.
[775.7s] You gotta pay extra if you wanted to squeak
[778.1s] all creepy like that.
[780.5s] There's an upcharge.
[781.3s] Oh, that's fun to know.
[784.2s] I like these jack-o-lanterns
[786.1s] and sort of the, they're a little bit more whimsical
[790.8s] than kind of straight terrifying,
[793.5s] like almost everything else.
[794.9s] So that's a nice bAlydince, I think.
[797.1s] This is nice.
[797.9s] It's a little playful, isn't it?
[799.6s] Yes, playful, exactly.
[803.1s] You pull up and you see two stone gargoyles
[806.4s] perched on either side of the grand entrance
[809.0s] await you, and the front door is tall and imposing.
[813.3s] It's painted in this ominous shade of black,
[817.1s] but as you take the first few steps up,
[819.4s] you see a brass knocker in the shape of a friendly ghost
[823.4s] because nothing says welcome like a specter.
[829.6s] Hilla, Farnox, do you wanna do the honors or?
[833.1s] Oh.
[833.9s] Yeah, it's kind of rude.
[834.7s] It's really up there.
[836.0s] Like I understand the door's big and all,
[837.5s] but like I would have to get on top
[839.1s] of Glim's shoulders to reach that, so.
[841.7s] I mean, I certainly can, sure.
[843.7s] Go up and I'd use the knocker.
[845.4s] You hit the knocker, and it's boo, boo, boo.
[850.1s] Oh.
[851.7s] I didn't think I did a bad job, but.
[852.5s] Oh, I do like that.
[854.2s] Okay.
[855.2s] And as you do that,
[856.7s] the two gargoyles turn towards you,
[859.4s] and one says, hey there, Traveler.
[862.1s] Oh, Jesus.
[864.2s] Hey.
[865.4s] Did you hear about the vampire who opened a blood bank?
[869.1s] No.
[869.9s] No.
[870.8s] And the other one quickly says,
[873.0s] he wanted to make a positive difference in the community.
[879.1s] Oh, that's good.
[879.9s] That's good.
[880.8s] That's good.
[881.6s] That's good.
[882.4s] What do you call a mummy's favorite type of music?
[886.6s] Oh, oh, I think I can guess this one.
[888.5s] Is it rap music?
[890.5s] Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it is.
[893.2s] Rap, rap.
[894.0s] But it's awesome, you know what?
[894.9s] Of course.
[895.7s] That is very good.
[896.5s] It really gets them groovy in their bandages.
[898.3s] These guys, they didn't steal the punchline of the jokes.
[900.8s] Oh, I'm so sorry.
[902.0s] The door groans open, and they're.
[906.7s] You gotta ask for that, too, as an upcharge.
[912.2s] And you hear from inside, as the doors swing open,
[917.4s] a bustle of laughter and chatter
[922.6s] and footsteps that all move beyond.
[926.6s] And there is immediately that catches your eye
[930.8s] in this well-illuminated foyer,
[933.6s] a dramatic chandelier that's suspended from the ceiling.
[938.0s] It would make the Phantom of the Opera jealous.
[941.1s] It's adorned with countless cobwebs,
[943.4s] giving it the appearance of a luxurious spider's nest.
[947.6s] A brass plaque proudly declares it the winner
[950.9s] of Most Haunted Lighting Fixture Award.
[954.4s] Mm, very competitive this year, I heard.
[957.6s] And suddenly in front of you, a spectral butler appears.
[963.8s] He says, welcome to your guests to Kron Manor.
[969.7s] I hope you're deading for a good time.
[973.6s] Ha, a lot more pun-based humor at this spooky party
[978.6s] than I would have anticipated, and I like it.
[981.4s] It's comforting.
[982.6s] Yeah.
[983.8s] Gives a sly smirk, and then he vanishes
[986.4s] in a puff of ectoplasmic smoke,
[988.9s] leaving behind a trail of ghostly laughter.
[994.2s] I like him, he's funny.
[995.4s] Oh, he is fun.
[996.5s] I hope we see him again later.
[998.6s] Was that supposed to be Mr. Mortimer?
[1000.6s] I didn't take my coat.
[1003.7s] I assumed the butler would be...
[1006.0s] Oh, yeah, you're right.
[1008.4s] F it, and he'd just drape it over a nearby chair.
[1012.2s] Yeah.
[1013.2s] There's probably a bedroom somewhere
[1014.6s] with a bunch just laid out on the bed,
[1016.4s] but a banister's probably fine, right?
[1018.3s] Just remember where you put it, though.
[1019.7s] That's true, we'll see, we'll see about that one.
[1023.3s] As you enter and you drape your jackets onto a chair,
[1028.6s] a coat rack in the corner seems to have come to life
[1032.8s] on its own, its hooks swaying as they're doing
[1036.0s] some sort of dance to the music in the background.
[1039.9s] It moves over and it extends one of its arms
[1044.2s] and it picks up your jacket and moves back to the corner.
[1048.4s] I think you offended it.
[1050.1s] I wonder.
[1052.0s] Good thing we were paying attention,
[1053.2s] otherwise you could have remembered
[1054.5s] and you would not be getting that back.
[1056.1s] It's true, now I know where it is
[1057.8s] and if there's any missing coats,
[1060.3s] I know what coat rack to go after.
[1064.8s] The door closes shut behind you
[1068.4s] and you are looking around.
[1070.4s] You see people in all types of costumes.
[1072.9s] There's some mummies, werewolves,
[1075.4s] maybe they're in costumes, maybe they aren't.
[1078.7s] You take a few more steps in as you round the corner
[1082.6s] and you see a dining room area.
[1087.0s] The spectral butler appears in front of you again
[1090.6s] and says, sorry, invitations, please.
[1094.8s] Oh, oh, oh, yeah, I get it.
[1098.7s] Glim, did I give mine to you
[1100.2s] because I feel like all my pockets are just.
[1103.2s] Hold on, sorry, it's not my normal
[1104.8s] because the costume, I'm not,
[1106.2s] I had to transfer everything from my normal.
[1109.1s] Oh, okay, here we go, here we go.
[1111.6s] Yeah, I gotta run back to my coat real quick.
[1113.6s] Hold on, here it is.
[1116.6s] Oh, thank you, thank you.
[1118.0s] He looks at them and says,
[1119.2s] ah, yes, the Destiny's children and Varnocks.
[1124.6s] Count Eunice A. Krohn was called earlier today
[1128.8s] but will be arriving shortly.
[1131.9s] He wished me to tell you that he is
[1136.0s] looking forward to greeting all of you.
[1139.7s] Oh, well, that's nice.
[1141.6s] Ditto.
[1142.4s] Did he end up at the mashed potato thing because
[1146.9s] nevermind, nevermind.
[1149.0s] Yes, yes, yes, it was mashed potatoes.
[1154.7s] The spine chilling haunted mansion tour will begin shortly.
[1160.7s] Please find yourselves some refreshments
[1163.6s] and we will begin.
[1166.6s] Disappears in front of you again.
[1168.4s] Wow.
[1170.4s] Do you think he's giving the tour because I like him.
[1174.4s] Oh, yeah, that'd be really great.
[1176.5s] I believe you could deliver it, yeah.
[1178.7s] Refreshments.
[1179.5s] Drinks, yeah, drinks.
[1180.4s] Oh, there's a table.
[1181.2s] Yes, table right over there.
[1182.2s] You think they got something alcoholic?
[1184.0s] Almost certainly.
[1184.9s] Oh, looks like they've got a bin of eyeballs.
[1188.4s] One of the classics.
[1189.7s] Oh, that is so good.
[1191.2s] And upon entering the dining room,
[1193.4s] the ambience shifts dramatically.
[1197.0s] A long antique dining table
[1199.6s] is covered in cobwebs and dust
[1202.0s] but the centerpiece is a stuffed raven
[1204.6s] wearing a monocle and top hat.
[1207.4s] A cob nod to fine dining, if you will.
[1210.8s] Candles flicker with ghostly flame
[1213.4s] casting eerie shadows that dance
[1216.4s] in this comedic ghostly waltz along the walls.
[1220.0s] The room is silent as a tomb
[1224.8s] until you hear just this off-key tune on the piano
[1230.5s] begin playing and as you look over,
[1233.2s] there's this invisible hand
[1235.0s] that's slowly plunking away at the keys.
[1238.8s] How do we know it's a hand?
[1243.8s] It's invisible.
[1246.8s] We know it's invisible
[1247.8s] but it's choosing to show us that it's invisible.
[1250.9s] It's wearing a glove.
[1252.4s] It's wearing a glove.
[1253.5s] Yeah, it's a white glove.
[1254.3s] Yes, yes, yes.
[1256.0s] That's exactly what I pictured.
[1256.8s] How else would they know
[1257.8s] that there was somebody in a ghostly form
[1260.7s] doing the piano?
[1261.6s] That's right.
[1262.4s] Yes, yes.
[1263.2s] I mean, I guess since we can only see the hand
[1265.9s] we assume this is a full ghost nude
[1267.6s] except for the glove or just a ghost hand.
[1271.2s] That is a good question.
[1272.4s] I wonder if ghosts, do they choose which,
[1275.4s] you said you're in the business of moving people.
[1277.6s] Have you ever dealt with nude ghosts, Mr. Farnox?
[1281.6s] All the time.
[1283.8s] People think ghosts down there,
[1287.1s] no, they don't have clothes.
[1288.8s] They don't come down with clothes
[1290.1s] but ghosts who have business up top,
[1292.6s] sometimes they'll show up with clothes
[1294.3s] because really most of them do
[1295.8s] because they're still self-conscious
[1297.0s] about some of the work they have left to do.
[1299.8s] It's a little complicated
[1301.4s] but honestly the job goes easier
[1303.4s] if you just kind of shed the earthly
[1306.1s] or the material clothing
[1308.2s] and kind of just get down to the brass tacks of things.
[1311.6s] Honestly, it's something
[1313.4s] that I think the living should get on board with
[1315.3s] but you know.
[1316.9s] Seems freeing.
[1317.8s] Society's gotta be society.
[1319.3s] Yeah, shedding material,
[1322.4s] cares of the material plane,
[1324.1s] that sounds really quite profound.
[1326.7s] That's what we offer.
[1327.6s] Farnox seems like he's here to get down.
[1329.3s] I feel like we're all gonna go streaking later.
[1331.2s] Yeah, more than likely.
[1333.4s] Okay, okay, I like that.
[1336.3s] So I mean if y'all ever wanna come down
[1337.8s] and free yourselves of your material burdens
[1340.2s] then I can certainly help you out with that.
[1342.8s] You keep saying down,
[1344.2s] now do you, you must work like in the basement
[1346.4s] of a building.
[1347.2s] Or down south.
[1348.0s] Or it's sort of like a sub.
[1349.6s] Yeah, yeah.
[1350.5s] It's actually a lot more sense.
[1351.5s] The deep south, yeah.
[1352.3s] Deep south.
[1353.2s] Well, so it's a close.
[1354.6s] It gives new meaning to touch by an angel, I guess.
[1358.6s] That's okay.
[1359.8s] You go over to, there's a small bar
[1362.8s] with a single steward behind it
[1365.0s] and he says what can I get you?
[1367.1s] The specials this evening are the bloody eyeball punch,
[1371.4s] the witch's brew, a vampire's kiss,
[1376.0s] the zombie punch and the ghostly white Russian.
[1381.0s] Hmm.
[1382.2s] Okay, I know we've had a lot of puns
[1383.9s] and like jokey kind of things lately.
[1385.8s] If I order the zombie punch
[1387.5s] is someone just gonna pop up
[1388.8s] and give me like a sucker punch me in the face?
[1391.3s] Oh, that is not on the menu.
[1395.2s] No, the zombie punch is a delicious apricot,
[1399.7s] lime and pineapple mixture.
[1402.9s] What's a punchy pot?
[1404.4s] Those are just juices.
[1405.3s] The alcohol probably.
[1406.7s] The rum, the light rum and the dark rum
[1409.8s] but the flavors that really bring out are the punches.
[1414.1s] I'll take one of those.
[1415.2s] All right.
[1416.6s] I'm gonna go on my creme kick
[1418.7s] and get that white Russian, that ghostly white Russian.
[1421.4s] Oh, love a white Russian but I just can't,
[1424.8s] I just can't have that dairy, I don't think so.
[1427.4s] It's bad, no glim.
[1428.2s] Could you tell me?
[1429.0s] Don't do that dairy, don't do that dairy.
[1430.4s] No, I regret it.
[1431.2s] It is a small carriage on the way home.
[1433.8s] Just, I appreciate you thinking about this like that.
[1436.0s] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[1437.7s] Could you say what's in the witch's brew?
[1440.1s] Cause I'm beefy stew and like beefy stew,
[1442.4s] drinking a witch's brew.
[1444.0s] I like that one at the time.
[1444.8s] That's what I remember.
[1445.6s] I think that's fun.
[1446.5s] The witch's brew.
[1447.5s] Yeah.
[1448.3s] The witch's brew is the finest melon liqueur,
[1451.9s] black vodka, lemonade, lemon lime soda
[1455.0s] and gummy worms.
[1456.7s] Ooh.
[1457.6s] Oh, I mean that, yes please, that sounds delicious.
[1462.6s] That will be just a moment
[1464.4s] and he begins shaking up all of your drinks.
[1466.4s] The witch's brew is served
[1467.9s] in a cauldron-like punch bowl for you.
[1471.6s] Zombie punch in this tall, short glass, nope.
[1478.4s] Short, tall glass.
[1479.3s] Short, tall glass.
[1480.6s] No, it's served in a lovely glass
[1482.9s] and has slices of oranges and cherries throughout it,
[1487.4s] giving a bit of a pulpy mixture to it.
[1491.1s] The ghostly white Russian,
[1492.9s] it's a very classic in its presentation,
[1497.6s] but it's topped with a heavy cream
[1500.0s] to create a subtle ghostly effect throughout.
[1504.8s] This might be the fanciest party we've ever,
[1507.5s] am I wrong?
[1509.1s] Sully, this is the fanciest party
[1510.6s] we've ever been to, right?
[1511.8s] I'm surprised we're allowed in here.
[1513.5s] They paid extra for all the door sounds.
[1515.7s] There's these incredible drinks.
[1517.5s] There's gonna be fireworks, a ghost butler, egg.
[1520.9s] I'm excited for the haunted tour.
[1523.6s] Me too.
[1524.4s] I guess, is it almost time, do you think?
[1526.0s] You hear the jingle of a bell from the foyer
[1530.1s] and people begin to mill that direction.
[1533.9s] You hear the voice of Mr. Mortimer as he says,
[1537.3s] the spine-chilling haunted mansion tour
[1541.1s] shall begin right now.
[1545.4s] Can we bring our drinks?
[1549.2s] Please do.
[1550.4s] Oh, nice.
[1551.3s] I'll be right back, I'm getting two.
[1553.2s] Vinox is over there just double fisting it.
[1556.5s] It's gonna be a night.
[1557.3s] I've already knocked out one,
[1558.6s] so now I've got, this is two and three in hand.
[1564.2s] You join everybody,
[1565.4s] and you didn't see exactly how many people
[1568.8s] were in this party,
[1570.0s] but there's a group of 25 to 30 people
[1573.3s] who have amassed from different areas of this mansion
[1577.2s] and have come for this ghostly tour.
[1580.1s] Does everybody keep your arms and legs
[1582.7s] inside the vehicles at all times
[1585.6s] for fear of losing them?
[1587.9s] Vehicle?
[1590.0s] Oh, is he being like cute?
[1591.4s] Yeah.
[1593.9s] He turns slowly and begins moving down the hallway,
[1598.1s] and as you venture down these dimly lit hallways,
[1601.2s] paintings of stern looking ancestors
[1604.4s] follow your every move with disapproving glares.
[1609.1s] It's like they're looking at you, right?
[1611.3s] Your eyes follow you?
[1613.3s] They don't like what they see.
[1617.4s] Yeah, I'm used to sort of being looked at
[1619.3s] with love and adoration from my family.
[1622.1s] It would be really hard to grow up here
[1623.8s] with these sort of mean faces
[1627.1s] looking at you all the time.
[1628.6s] Well, you turned this into a really emotional moment.
[1630.5s] Yeah.
[1631.4s] Well, I have had half of a witch as Bruce, so.
[1634.6s] Oh, she's partying.
[1639.1s] You stop in front of one of the portraits,
[1642.2s] and Mr. Mortimer ushers a hand and says,
[1645.7s] this is the portrait of Lady Isolde Crohn,
[1650.2s] a long deceased member of the Crohn family
[1653.6s] said to come to life when the moon is full.
[1657.4s] Her enchanting beauty masks a malevolent spirit
[1661.1s] that seeks revenge for a century's old betrayal.
[1665.6s] Those who gaze upon her portrait during the full moon
[1668.9s] are said to be drawn into a sinister trance,
[1672.1s] unable to escape her vengeful wrath.
[1676.3s] Whoa.
[1677.4s] Just a quick question.
[1680.6s] Just off the top of your head,
[1682.2s] do you know sort of the moon phase,
[1685.0s] specifically this evening?
[1688.0s] All I can say is be careful where your gaze lands.
[1692.2s] Hmm, hmm, hmm, okay, thank you.
[1695.4s] Oh, God, I still wanna look.
[1698.3s] I know, all I wanna, I hear she's such a babe,
[1701.6s] I wanna look, but I can't.
[1703.3s] Right?
[1704.4s] I mean, most of the time,
[1705.4s] these eyes are just people behind the walls
[1707.6s] looking at you.
[1708.5s] Oh.
[1709.3s] You know, so you could probably look, it'll be fine.
[1710.7s] It's one of those,
[1711.6s] I guess this one would be a croony trick.
[1714.7s] Oh.
[1716.0s] Oh, you're really embracing the pun theme of the evening,
[1719.5s] that's very good.
[1720.5s] Yeah, hillop, look at her.
[1722.7s] I'm gonna look.
[1723.8s] I mean, I am looking right now, look at me look.
[1726.4s] He's looking, I'm gonna look too,
[1728.1s] and you see hillop, he puts his head down in his eyes,
[1731.4s] I'm looking so very good.
[1733.9s] I can see her with my own eyeballs,
[1737.4s] not a reflection in my shoes.
[1742.3s] Everybody make an investigation roll as you carry on.
[1748.8s] Fuck, why am I myself?
[1750.3s] 15.
[1752.7s] Ah, that's a five.
[1754.8s] I have had half a witch's brew, am I right?
[1758.8s] Three.
[1760.0s] Three, okay.
[1761.4s] 15, the two of you are definitely not looking
[1765.2s] at the portrait.
[1766.0s] No, not at all.
[1767.1s] No, definitely not, too scared.
[1767.9s] Sometimes the dice no,
[1769.7s] and they just tell the story for us.
[1772.9s] You see that this portrait, Vorunax,
[1777.5s] is on a hinge.
[1780.7s] The left side appears,
[1782.8s] and it appears to be pulled slightly away from the wall,
[1786.9s] and there appears to be like a piece of parchment
[1791.2s] or some sort of signage that's,
[1793.5s] you can't quite see what,
[1794.5s] make out what it says at your current position,
[1798.0s] but there's a little sign or something
[1799.8s] like behind this portrait of Lady Isolde Kron.
[1805.8s] My, the woodworking on this frame is marvelous looking.
[1812.3s] I'm gonna go up and inspect it
[1814.3s] while I actually look at that thing.
[1815.8s] Sure, yeah, you managed to jimmy it just enough
[1820.2s] so that you can see that there is a sign
[1823.0s] that says shortcut to the kitchen,
[1826.0s] and in parentheses it says,
[1827.6s] beware of friendly spiders.
[1830.0s] Yes, good work, and I go back to the group
[1832.3s] and I'm like, hey, there's a secret passageway
[1834.4s] behind that picture.
[1835.8s] There's a secret, it goes to the kitchen,
[1838.2s] and you know what, there's a spider in there.
[1840.2s] Okay. Oh.
[1841.2s] I love. It's a friendly spider, though.
[1843.0s] Oh. How do you know this?
[1845.7s] I acted like I was interested in the frame.
[1848.8s] Yes, I saw that. God, awful work.
[1850.4s] Absolutely trash.
[1851.6s] I don't know how much they paid for it,
[1853.3s] but you could have gotten better in Blackpool.
[1856.2s] Anyway, that's me.
[1858.0s] I did the woodworking in most of Blackpool,
[1860.0s] but anyway, yeah, if we ever need
[1863.5s] book it from one place to the kitchen,
[1865.2s] this is that place.
[1866.5s] Perfect, thank you. Do we go right now?
[1867.9s] I don't know if I feel comfortable
[1869.3s] walking off apart from the group.
[1872.0s] I've now been spending too much time with Glim,
[1875.4s] because those words didn't come out of my mouth.
[1877.4s] That wasn't me.
[1878.4s] That was Glim speaking through me.
[1880.4s] Yeah.
[1882.0s] But more importantly, is she hot?
[1886.5s] Yeah, the image is old.
[1888.4s] Is she really beautiful?
[1889.7s] Or is she old, like I thought she was gonna be,
[1892.0s] because her name is old.
[1894.2s] Like damn, that bitch is old.
[1897.5s] Yeah.
[1899.7s] There's a lot of ways you could say that sentence,
[1901.6s] grammatically.
[1902.5s] That is true.
[1903.3s] Yeah, it's both Vorunax and I look straight at her,
[1905.6s] so we know exactly that she is a hot, older lady.
[1911.5s] Yeah.
[1912.8s] Right, those two aren't mutually exclusive,
[1914.6s] she could be gorgeous and older.
[1916.6s] That's right, Vorunax, that's what you saw too, right?
[1920.4s] Yep, gave me some Meryl Streep energy.
[1922.3s] Oh, see, yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
[1924.1s] All right.
[1925.0s] Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
[1926.4s] Okay.
[1927.5s] You turn and you see the group rounding a corner
[1930.4s] a little ways down the hallway,
[1932.3s] and you move to catch up, I assume.
[1936.0s] Oh, yes.
[1937.4s] And as you turn, you kind of bump into the group
[1939.8s] who's stopped, and you can hear from up ahead,
[1943.7s] Mr. Mortimer, who's telling another tale
[1947.6s] of the Crom Manor, and he says the walls of Cron Manor
[1953.9s] have ears, and he kind of moves through the crowd for you,
[1959.6s] or so the locals say.
[1962.2s] Visitors claim to hear faint whispers
[1965.0s] and eerie laughter emanating from the mansion's walls,
[1968.7s] as if the very stones are privy to the darkest secrets
[1972.8s] of the manor's past.
[1974.9s] Some believe that the souls of the departed family members
[1978.4s] are trapped within the walls,
[1980.0s] forever reliving their tragic tales.
[1984.7s] So you would recommend be wearing the ears of Cron?
[1990.2s] Watch out, watch out for those ears of Cron.
[1996.1s] He looks at you disapprovingly.
[1999.8s] As does every portrait in here.
[2002.5s] How are the ghostly white Russians survived?
[2005.5s] How are the ghostly white Russians survived?
[2008.4s] Oh, it's getting spooky.
[2011.6s] Good, good.
[2013.5s] It's getting real spooky over here.
[2023.2s] You, he turns and begins to move back through the crowd
[2027.5s] who all turn and look at you
[2029.7s] and just kind of shake their heads.
[2032.8s] There's one of them in there that points at you
[2035.5s] and winks and is like,
[2037.0s] gives you a good one from the front of the group.
[2039.8s] But everybody's, you're taking us out of the mood.
[2044.0s] Oh, they're a little stuffy in here.
[2045.4s] They're a little stuffy, a little stuffy.
[2047.3s] Okay, all right, all right.
[2048.8s] Vibe, vibe taken, gotcha.
[2051.0s] You make your way down to the back of the manor
[2054.1s] and it opens into this majestic garden.
[2059.8s] You step down into it and you're greeted
[2063.6s] by a row of zombie garden gnomes
[2067.9s] that begin doing a dance.
[2072.4s] Ba-da, da-na-na,
[2076.5s] do-do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do-do.
[2080.3s] Roses begin to bloom in shades of red, black
[2083.6s] and occasional polka dot
[2085.2s] and a tree in the corner is adorned
[2087.5s] with floating lanterns that giggle
[2090.2s] as you see a few of them reaching up,
[2093.2s] trying to catch them.
[2095.4s] You see all around statues of mythical creatures
[2099.8s] that are frozen mid-sneeze
[2101.7s] and a friendly werewolf that is tending to the petunias.
[2106.0s] Glim, look over there.
[2107.9s] I see some shrubbery that's twerking.
[2114.6s] I knew if we got further into the garden
[2116.6s] that's when the sexy dancing would start.
[2119.0s] They're just slightly out of view.
[2122.4s] Glim's like four sips away from her sexy dancing.
[2125.4s] Watch out.
[2126.6s] I've seen it once before.
[2128.1s] When I get a whole witch's brewing,
[2130.6s] look out.
[2132.7s] It's as if you'll enjoy the dance
[2136.4s] and then join me back inside.
[2139.5s] Mr. Mortimer begins to re-enter the place.
[2143.0s] A few people follow him,
[2144.3s] but others stand and mill about in the garden space.
[2147.7s] I'll dance along.
[2149.1s] Yeah, I was gonna say, should we join in?
[2150.9s] Yeah.
[2151.8s] Pause for a dance flash mob from everybody.
[2158.2s] Yeah.
[2159.0s] Somehow we know all the moves.
[2160.8s] You step back inside and as if from nowhere,
[2164.4s] you see the bartender standing behind another bar
[2167.0s] and he calls to you as you enter
[2168.9s] and says, a refill.
[2170.9s] Oh yeah.
[2171.8s] Absolutely.
[2172.6s] Oh, heck yeah.
[2173.9s] And one from my friend who's still outside.
[2180.2s] I am coming.
[2181.2s] I'm coming.
[2182.4s] I'm just going to...
[2184.1s] Oh, there's another one.
[2187.4s] A different friend.
[2188.2s] I think he meant a different one.
[2189.1s] No, I'm pretty sure he meant me.
[2191.1s] That we were...
[2192.1s] Yes.
[2192.9s] I don't think...
[2193.8s] You're not drinking White Russians though.
[2195.7s] No, I'm not drinking White Russians.
[2197.1s] But his other friend is.
[2198.9s] His other friend needs our other friend
[2202.3s] that we all know and are waiting for will need another...
[2204.6s] We are winking at him so hard.
[2206.6s] White Russian.
[2207.6s] Yeah.
[2208.5s] Okay.
[2209.6s] Yes, okay.
[2211.2s] So, so White Russians?
[2214.4s] Yes, yes, yes.
[2215.4s] Oh.
[2216.2s] Yes.
[2217.0s] Absolutely.
[2217.9s] Okay, cool, cool, cool.
[2218.7s] He serves you all your drinks
[2220.4s] and gets you your extra White Russian for your friend.
[2224.6s] Sucker.
[2228.4s] And the tour continues
[2231.7s] and you pass a large grand staircase.
[2237.3s] It goes up a floor
[2239.0s] and then there's a small spiral staircase that goes down.
[2244.3s] Mr. Mortimer says the kitchen is downstairs
[2248.0s] and upstairs we will not be venturing today.
[2251.2s] That is the Count's private quarters.
[2255.8s] If anybody requires the lavatory,
[2258.2s] that is up on the right.
[2260.9s] He begins to move down the stairs towards the kitchen.
[2264.5s] All right, let's get on down to that kitchen.
[2267.3s] See if we can find the other side of that.
[2269.1s] Find the other end of that passageway.
[2270.4s] Yeah, exactly.
[2271.3s] But also I still wanna go upstairs
[2272.9s] in the Count's rooms and like look around.
[2274.7s] Obviously me too.
[2276.2s] I mean, I have a whole other drink
[2277.5s] so like let's see where the night takes us.
[2279.3s] Should we stick with the group first?
[2280.8s] And then I'm sure there's gonna be time
[2282.4s] to like mingle and stuff where we can kind of sneak off.
[2285.0s] Yeah, so we're going down to the kitchen, yes?
[2286.8s] Likely.
[2287.7s] Yeah.
[2288.6s] I mean, Mortimer is pretty occupied right now.
[2291.7s] Yes, he is.
[2292.6s] With the tour and may not be later.
[2294.7s] So maybe now is the time.
[2296.4s] Or maybe we sneak upstairs
[2297.9s] and then we take the shortcut down to the kitchens
[2300.1s] like we were there the whole time.
[2304.1s] But do we wanna give away that we know the secret?
[2306.3s] Oh, that's a secret.
[2307.1s] Because then the scarees become the scareurs.
[2309.8s] Ah, touche, sir.
[2313.2s] These drinks are real strong.
[2314.4s] I have no idea where I am in this house anymore.
[2317.6s] It's a winding, winding labyrinth.
[2320.7s] Yeah, it's huge.
[2322.1s] Hallways and doorways, is it not?
[2325.0s] It is.
[2325.8s] Yes.
[2326.7s] It's true.
[2327.5s] Speaking of winding, these stairs look pretty winding.
[2329.3s] Y'all be careful.
[2330.4s] You know, the first one's usually a doozy,
[2332.8s] especially when we're in our states.
[2334.7s] Yes.
[2335.8s] So down, I kind of, okay, I know.
[2339.0s] Sully, I know.
[2339.9s] I kind of wanna stay on the tour
[2341.6s] because I'm- I got you would.
[2343.3s] Yeah, of course I do.
[2344.4s] Well, I mean, what if we miss something important?
[2345.6s] If the group doesn't.
[2348.3s] Again, I'm spending too much time with you.
[2349.4s] Well, if we miss something important.
[2351.7s] You didn't immediately try to instigate trouble,
[2354.1s] so I think I'm being a really positive influence on you.
[2356.5s] I'm really disappointing myself today.
[2358.0s] All right, let's catch up.
[2360.2s] You have lost track of the main group
[2362.4s] and you begin making your way down the stairs.
[2366.0s] You hear chatter.
[2367.6s] It sounds like Mr. Mortimer has begun his conversation
[2372.8s] of whatever eerie things have happened next.
[2378.0s] And you round the corner and into the kitchen.
[2380.2s] And in there, thinking you followed the group,
[2383.1s] you don't see anybody,
[2384.3s] but you find pots and pans
[2386.1s] stacked in an impossibly high tower.
[2389.4s] It looks like they're threatening
[2390.4s] to topple over at any moment.
[2393.7s] The refrigerator door is kind of cracked open
[2398.6s] and there's this chilly breeze
[2400.5s] with an otherworldly realm that is filling the room.
[2405.0s] And just beyond it, you see floating heads of lettuce
[2409.0s] and eggs as you make your way around this space.
[2414.7s] You hear the mumbled conversation of Mr. Mortimer,
[2419.5s] but you can't exactly place where it's coming from.
[2422.3s] Are they in the refrigerator?
[2424.0s] That's what I was gonna ask.
[2425.0s] You see the lettuce floating and that's not.
[2429.0s] Like an Arctic breeze?
[2430.0s] Also, weird that the kitchen would be part of the tour.
[2434.1s] I don't mean to judge sort of the event planning,
[2436.8s] but it's sort of strange, isn't it?
[2438.2s] I'm glad you said that.
[2439.2s] I mean, it doesn't look like it's ready for guests.
[2443.9s] Especially when everything else was so done up
[2447.6s] and this just seems like a big old pile of pots.
[2452.0s] Maybe it's a sign of trust
[2453.7s] letting you see where your food came from.
[2455.8s] Oh, yes, I hadn't thought about that.
[2458.4s] That's nice.
[2460.6s] You suddenly hear just a quiet sob
[2466.2s] and you turn and you now hear the chopping sound
[2470.9s] and you see a ghostly chef who's dicing onions
[2474.7s] and tears of ectoplasm are just streaming down his face.
[2478.9s] Oh, oh, good onions we'll get you, won't we?
[2481.4s] Oh, yeah, yeah, they will.
[2485.5s] Even once you're a ghost, hey, that doesn't go away.
[2488.8s] Seems kind of rude.
[2490.6s] It really just gets in there.
[2492.0s] Yeah, I mean, I died in the kitchen.
[2495.6s] So maybe it's because this is where
[2500.1s] the last thing I felt was pain.
[2502.1s] How did you die?
[2504.2s] Seems like a personal question.
[2506.4s] I fell on a blade.
[2508.1s] Oh, that blade?
[2509.8s] Slipped on a wet puddle.
[2511.3s] Watch, wet floor.
[2513.1s] Oh, thank you.
[2514.4s] And you're supposed to report any slips
[2517.0s] or trips or near misses.
[2519.0s] There's probably somewhere like a clipboard.
[2521.0s] You need to fill out sort of an incident report.
[2523.4s] For my death?
[2524.3s] No, I filled it out a long time ago.
[2526.3s] I've just been carrying on chopping the onions
[2530.1s] for everything and just making sure
[2533.4s] that everybody gets fed.
[2534.9s] You are doing a bang up job though, man.
[2537.0s] Thank you.
[2538.4s] Are you, you seem more emotional
[2540.8s] than I typically feel just from the onion chopping
[2543.9s] that sort of straight tears.
[2545.4s] Not a lot of like, are you, everything else okay?
[2549.5s] Oh, just a lot on my shoulders right now.
[2552.6s] Oh, are you alone making all of this food?
[2555.2s] All of the food.
[2556.8s] Oh my goodness.
[2557.8s] Well, that's, and now entertaining visitors on a tour.
[2562.8s] They passed through a moment ago.
[2565.0s] Was it three?
[2566.3s] It's been some time.
[2568.7s] They keep me in this temporal vortex
[2571.5s] so I can create the food faster.
[2574.1s] Oh, well that doesn't really seem right.
[2576.6s] Well, also now how long have we been in here?
[2580.5s] You should be able to catch them.
[2584.1s] In what?
[2584.9s] Which way?
[2585.8s] They did take a look in the fridge
[2587.2s] but didn't go in there.
[2588.3s] They went through the side door over there
[2590.3s] and you look back and there's the saloon style door
[2594.6s] that you can't quite remember if it was there before.
[2598.3s] Just through there.
[2599.1s] Well, thanks, what's your name?
[2600.1s] Okay.
[2600.9s] Is your last name Krohn?
[2603.0s] Of course it is.
[2604.7s] Everybody's named Krohn.
[2605.6s] Oh, you're also a Krohn.
[2607.1s] Benjamin, Benjamin, Frederick Krohn.
[2610.5s] Krohn, not Krohn.
[2612.3s] It's got the juice.
[2613.6s] It's got the juice.
[2615.0s] Yeah, that's what they say.
[2621.1s] It's Krohn.
[2623.0s] Yeah, that's immediately when I read the name.
[2624.9s] I was just like, oh good, here we go.
[2630.3s] I'm thinking up the parody lyrics already.
[2633.7s] Binge, Binge, where's the secret door opening in the room?
[2638.8s] You would know.
[2639.6s] The secret door opening.
[2640.8s] You're the one with spiders.
[2643.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[2644.6s] He looks kind of left and right.
[2648.5s] Lifts his nose up to a cutting board up on a high shelf.
[2657.9s] It's a large cutting board.
[2660.9s] This is a room.
[2663.4s] I can hear it from me.
[2664.7s] I don't.
[2665.5s] You hear what?
[2666.4s] You hear what?
[2667.2s] No, it's the sound of onions chopping and tears flowing.
[2673.2s] Well, this has been depressing.
[2676.0s] It has been.
[2677.7s] It can't all be fun and laughs
[2679.4s] at the Haunted Mansion tour.
[2681.1s] I like, do you need us to free you from this torture
[2684.6s] or I feel bad just walking away now
[2687.0s] while you're sort of in this state?
[2690.1s] No, no, I think I'll be okay.
[2693.8s] If you get bored later, come and we can see,
[2696.1s] see if I have some unfinished business maybe, but.
[2698.8s] Oh, oh, get it, cutting board.
[2702.0s] Gotcha, yeah, this guy.
[2705.6s] I don't know what you're talking about.
[2709.4s] Wink, wink.
[2710.4s] Oh, it's so oozy.
[2712.4s] That's kind of gross, but you keep at it.
[2714.6s] I keep it out of the sauce.
[2716.2s] Good.
[2717.0s] That's the important part.
[2717.9s] Everything's above boiling.
[2719.2s] I didn't even think about that.
[2720.7s] Oh, above boiling, oh wow.
[2724.8s] Oh my gosh.
[2725.8s] See what you're doing.
[2727.6s] So this way then?
[2728.8s] Through the saloon doors.
[2730.4s] All right, well see you later, Ben.
[2733.6s] See you later, nameless adventurers.
[2741.3s] As you walk through the saloon doors,
[2744.8s] it's very dark in this next area
[2747.5s] and as they swing shut behind you,
[2750.6s] it's almost as if this magical darkness has enveloped you.
[2758.0s] You can hear Mr. Mortimer to the left
[2762.0s] and then to the right
[2762.8s] and it's as if his voice is bouncing around
[2765.2s] and you're picking up bits of tales from Krohn Manor.
[2772.9s] You hear the start of one every century
[2776.2s] and on the night of the blood moon,
[2777.7s] a curse befalls Krohn Manor.
[2780.2s] The once genteel inhabitants transform
[2782.6s] into monstrous creatures
[2784.2s] thirsting for the blood of intruders.
[2786.7s] And then from another side you hear,
[2789.2s] but the mournful music sends shivers down the spines
[2792.4s] of those who dare to stay at the manor.
[2798.3s] And then all goes completely silent.
[2803.0s] I guess we missed the scary stories.
[2805.8s] Yeah, the context is totally lost on me.
[2808.5s] I'm not entirely sure what's happening.
[2810.6s] And after the whole depressing kitchen scene,
[2813.1s] I feel like we've sort of lost
[2814.4s] a little of the momentum of the-
[2816.4s] We've been left in the dark on this one.
[2818.2s] Oh, oh goodness.
[2819.8s] Oh, Mr. Vorunax, are you sure your last name's not Krohn
[2824.8s] because you really are?
[2826.8s] Maybe.
[2827.6s] That twist might have to remain until the end though.
[2831.0s] No, I'm not a Krohn.
[2832.2s] Not that I know of.
[2833.8s] Oh God, am I?
[2835.2s] No, certainly not.
[2837.6s] Whether it's the several punch bowls full of drinks,
[2841.3s] everything starts to feel a little woozy
[2845.2s] and a little off bAlydince.
[2848.6s] Guys, it's so dark in here.
[2849.8s] I don't know which way's up.
[2851.3s] I don't think I drank much,
[2853.1s] but I am feeling disorientated.
[2858.6s] Like I can tell you which direction we came in here.
[2860.9s] Should we just kind of wander in the dark?
[2862.8s] That seems like a safe thing to do.
[2864.4s] I think there would be a light from the swingy swingy doors
[2867.3s] that we just walked through
[2868.5s] because we didn't go very far, but it's just,
[2873.4s] and then you hear a sound of a body
[2876.6s] and Hillop's not talking.
[2881.8s] I've got matches.
[2882.6s] I'm gonna be just gonna use some matches.
[2885.2s] That's a great idea.
[2886.3s] Let's just, that's a match sound.
[2890.4s] It lights for a moment
[2893.0s] and you see Hillop lying on the ground
[2895.6s] and there's this black and white checkered tile floor
[2899.6s] and then before it even gets far down the match,
[2902.7s] it snuffs out.
[2904.2s] So Hillop's down.
[2906.4s] Yeah, Hillop, are you, can we hear breathing?
[2910.4s] I wanna nudge him with my foot.
[2912.0s] You nudge him, there's a bit of a groan and.
[2917.2s] Okay.
[2923.5s] And then Sully, your constitution begins to fade
[2927.1s] and you feel yourself like the ground
[2930.5s] is getting closer to you and you're getting very sleepy.
[2934.8s] Okay guys, I'm slowly just lowering myself to the ground.
[2938.4s] I think I maybe had one or two,
[2940.8s] just like too many, perhaps.
[2942.9s] Can you, can you like come this way?
[2945.2s] I'll just pick you up a little bit, just up seas.
[2947.8s] It seems fine.
[2949.8s] Okay, I don't love that.
[2952.2s] Mr. Vorunax, how are you feeling?
[2953.9s] I mean, I feel like you've imbibed the most,
[2956.4s] you probably have. Most definitely.
[2958.0s] Yeah, and how are you feeling?
[2960.6s] I feel a little odd.
[2964.6s] This darkness is darker than I'm used to.
[2969.7s] Normally I don't have a problem with dark at all,
[2971.8s] but this seems different.
[2975.7s] I feel the sudden desire just to sit down in place.
[2980.0s] But you know, I feel like I could go for a good sit,
[2985.3s] you know, sometimes at a party,
[2987.8s] you get through parts of it and then you're like,
[2990.0s] man, I just need to sit.
[2991.9s] I think I'm gonna do that.
[2993.7s] I mean, I've been there, but I really don't know.
[2996.1s] Guys, this is, just we're in a black room.
[3000.2s] I can't see you.
[3001.6s] I appreciate that you're telling me what you're doing,
[3004.3s] but it's not, I don't like it,
[3008.1s] I guess is what I'm trying to say.
[3010.5s] You hear the sound of Varnock sitting down
[3013.3s] and Sully begins to snore and there's a tiny like,
[3016.9s] of hill up in the corner.
[3019.6s] And you're, you feel woozy,
[3022.3s] but you haven't lost,
[3023.7s] you're not experiencing quite the same experience
[3026.3s] that everybody else around you glim.
[3028.6s] And then there's this swinging door,
[3032.9s] similar to the saloon doors that you walk through.
[3038.2s] And quick footsteps moving towards you,
[3040.9s] you can't see them.
[3043.0s] Benjamin, is that you?
[3044.6s] Are you okay?
[3045.4s] Do you need a hug from the crying?
[3047.0s] Are you okay?
[3048.9s] And there's suddenly a blunt force to your head.
[3053.5s] Oh, jeez.
[3055.3s] Oh, jeez.
[3056.1s] Hell yeah.
[3057.4s] And you go unconscious.
[3059.8s] All of you drift to sleep or go.
[3063.6s] Or get knocked out.
[3064.5s] Or forced to sleep. Forced to sleep.
[3066.1s] Yeah.
[3067.0s] ["Dumbgeons and Dragons, Halloween at Krohn Manor, Part One"]
[3076.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons, Halloween at Krohn Manor, Part One.
[3080.8s] This episode starred Amy More as Sully,
[3083.6s] Carla Macstead as Glim,
[3085.1s] with Kyle Klassat as Varnock,
[3086.9s] and Russ More as your dungeon master.
[3089.1s] Dialogue editing and sound design by Russ More.
[3091.8s] This episode featured music from Epidemic Sound
[3094.4s] and sound effects from Epidemic Sound and Sound Ideas.
[3098.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers,
[3100.3s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok, Kat Waterflame,
[3103.4s] Jacob Madden, Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss,
[3106.3s] Perry Matey, Old School Gamer D,
[3108.8s] Ongaron Kiersen, Kayla Littlejohn,
[3111.0s] L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter, and Destiny.
[3114.1s] Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[3117.6s] We're in between seasons,
[3118.9s] but that doesn't mean the episodes are stopping.
[3121.0s] We have our monthly Patreon exclusive podcast
[3123.4s] available over there right now.
[3125.3s] Five seasons, all to catch up on.
[3127.8s] Plus so much more bonus content,
[3129.7s] a live show in November, and hangouts.
[3133.5s] We hang out a lot.
[3134.6s] It's kind of our thing.
[3136.4s] So join us today at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[3140.1s] Thank you so much for listening.
[3141.6s] Part Two should be out this week.
[3143.6s] You've got that to look forward to.
[3145.5s] So you have a great week, and we'll talk again soon.
[3148.2s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.